a new beginning

dear readers,

actually kinda stuck here in my room waiting for my friend to fetch us up. going to KL today. and tomorrow: genting! yeay!

did i tell you how much i wanted to go to genting? since few months back actually. everytime im stressed out, i really wanna feel the rush of adrenaline in my body. the overwhelming feeling is so powerful that it can kick out the negative ones :P so when sheila asked me if i wanted to go to KL with her, there are only two things in my head: genting or bungee jumping in sunway. ouh sorry babe have to drag you on this thing even though i know you have phobia for height.

i dont know which 'jin' has possessed me, but this celebration will be ongoing till 14th november. once im back, i'll be meeting few friends again. then sandakan on 12th. then god knows what's next :P

but thinking back of the stress that we all have to endure during the exam period, makes wanna enjoy every moment to the fullest. because once im stuck here again in my room with my books, then the whole world seemed being shut down. haha. and yeah, it was all worth it! 3 weeks ago i really had a pain in the arse, now i can sit back and enjoy the moment for a while.

before im finally enroll myself next semester as a FINAL MED! wooooot wooooot!

i am all pumped up for a new beginning! :)

letter to examiner

dear examiners,

it has been three weeks we were sleep deprived. it has been a dull three weeks without going out for a movie or just chillaxing over a cup of coffee with friends. not to mention, it has been three weeks that we slept with books open, hoping that all knowledge in that books will be diffused into our brain cells via osmosis. it's all possible because the concentration of knowledge in the books is absolutely higher than one in the neurons. so nothing against the biological law, right?

i am not not writing this to complain about my hardship, where i know im far more blessed than some people around the globe. i have chosen this path, i have to run to the finishing line even it demanded me to crawl to the end.

it's just that, have mercy on us. every time you are putting marks on our answer's booklet, please remember: it's someone's future, dreams and hopes. or maybe it's one big family's dream. may God blessed you with good health and put you in a good condition everytime you mark our papers. because i truly believe that good mood will produce good end products :P

with God willing, may all of us will be cried in joy because of your giving.

so, take your own sweet time marking our papers okay? :)

happiness!

oh bahagianya perasaan ini. dalam sehari sahaja bertubi-tubi perkhabaran gembira aku terima. alhamdulillah.

first, aku dapat tahu short case for paeds sudah lepas. it was a nightmare for me and knowing that i don't have to go for another torture, it's enough for me.

secondly, perubahan positif kepada someone (walaupun bukan aku yang initiate) sangatlah mengharukan. semoga berkekalan. dan dengan izinNya, aku mahu itulah dasar kepada apa juga yang bakal kita lakukan pada masa-masa akan datang.

thirdly, orang mengenangkan aku sebagai orang yang pandai masak. lol. honestly i am not. terima kasih kepada perencah alagappas :P

oleh sebab itu, aku tidur dengan tersenyum sampai ke telinga malam tadi. bangun pagi rasa muscle cramp around the mouth.

selamat berpuasa semua!x

love,

jamieY

tersalah konsep

alhamdulillah, bertemu lagi dengan ramadhan. memang lain tahun ni. aku merasakan suatu ketenangan yang luar biasa. sejak semalam. aku pun tidak tahu sebab musabab so sila jangan tanya kenapa.

mungkin kerana aku bertemu pesakit tekanan jiwa sehari2an maka aku cepat-cepat mensyukuri apa yang ada.

mungkin juga aku sudah sampai pada tahap di mana aku sangat berasa cukup dengan apa yang ada. keluarga, orang-orang yang kasih dan peduli kepadaku, kemudahan untuk belajar, dan rezeki yang ditentukan.

alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah.

baru-baru ini, aku berjumpa kekasih lama (by that i mean a friend that is dear to my heart). thanks to her, she made me realize another concept which has been forgotten, buried deep down in my cortex, untouched for ages. barakah concept. as simple as it might sound, it also easily slips of my mind. konsep itu sangat mudah. katanya dia sangat susah memahami subjek yang dia sering ponteng kelas. tapi, subjek yang dia attend completely senang saja mahu pass. lalu, dia pun membuat kesimpulan bahawa, actually dengan menghadiri kelas itu mebawa berkat, lalu allah permudahkan semuanya.

so just imagine. out lecturers made their effort every morning to come to class and teach us. well, regardless of how much input, or how much you don't like them, they are still our guru. the people in the know. and we, the people in might-know-something-but-still-inadequate, dengan bodoh sombongnya pilih kelas mana yang mahu ponteng. well, aku selalu buat. especially di hari-hari di mana kemengantukan adalah musuh utama. itu belum termasuk hal-hal yang tidak wajar dibincangkan di sini. jadi, betapa banyak berkat yang aku pilih untuk tolak? sesungguhnya aku memang pelupa. dan bodo sombong. sila ambil perhatian, bodo tidak sama dengan bodoh. bodoh adalah lebih bodoh dari bodo. itu konsep yang cikgu math tahun 5 aku ajar :P

semoga allah merahmati setiap insan yang bergelar guru ameen ;)

be good and take care everyone!

::irritabilty::

Ms J, 23, female, student

PC: irritability x 1/7 duration

HPC: associated with extremely unpredicted mood changes. irritated to any sort of things her eyes may see or the ears can listen. this is not the first time. the symptoms are cyclical, usually more prominent before she gets the menses, namely about 35 days interval.

symptoms are preceded by extreme lethargy, apathy, and the duration is about 2 to 3 days. she also complained of abdominal cramps that lasted for few minutes, back pain and abdominal bloating of unknown cause.

2 weeks prior to that symptom, she will crave for any high sugar-content food or chocolates.

no fever, no vomitting, no neck stiffness. no UTI or any other abdominal symptoms.

Past medical, past surgical and family histories are insignificant.

On social history, she is concerned on how her mood can affect the people around her where she sometimes cannot really contained her irritability and worried that her apathic state becomes so repulsive to people around her.

Management based on the history:

1. watch funny movies as much as possible

2. talk to someone she is comfortable with

3. drink more sugar to increase energy level

4. apply hot water on abdomen

5. have a good rest

6. breath in and out every time she is upset or feeling down

my little baby is now making fun of me!

this is one of those conversations that made my day :)

lil bro: kak, belikan lagi aku kereta control

me: namau la. ko kasi rosak ja semua. bukan kau ka yang janji mau kasi beli aku kereta?

lil bro: nanti la banyak duit.

me: aku mau BMW tu (aku memang tamak)

lil bro: apa tu?

me: kereta la. logeng la palek

lil bro: nda tau apa tu...

me: lori yang besar bah...

lil bro: nda payah la kalau begitu.

me: kenapa pulak? satu kali ja aku angkut kamu...

lil bro: nda sampai kakimu

me: hahahahahaha. siapa ajar kutuk kakak sendiri pendek ni?

.........................................................................................................................................................................

lil bro: kenapa nda ada duitmu?

me: belum kerja kan...

lil bro: kerja la cepat palek

me: mana boleh. belum habis belajar lagi kan...

lil bro: berhenti la belajar. pandai jugak sudah kan

me: lol

dari mana adik aku belajar jadi loyar buruk pun aku tidak pasti. yang aku tahu, dia masih setahun jagung, berhingus dan masih menangis kalau gula-gulanya dirampas oleh teman sepermainannya. tapi hari ini, dia sudah pandai meloyar buruk dengan aku. ahhh how fast time flies!

where can i get pills to keep them as my little babies, always?

Bye 2009. welcome 2010!

maybe i was a bit late, but better late than never :) so happy 2010 everyone!

2009 said it farewell, loud and clear and today is the 5th day of 2010. first day of semester 8. and next year, 2011. the year that will be filled with joyous celebration and beautiful achievements insyaAllah. lets pray hard for it! :)

2009 left me with tons of memories, laughter, tears and of course lessons.

i might be stumbled at times, people around me made me stand proudly at my feet again, as strong as ever!

i got carried away with beautiful things that the world could offer, i am grateful i still have beautiful people to share them with.

i found my new me, the exact me and i was being bold about it.

sometimes there are things better left unspoken and untold, so i think. make things easier.

welcome 2010. i expect more happiness and hopes from you! :)

::cita-cita baru aku::

aku mahu kahwin doktor. ini cita-cita aku dari sekarang.

ada doktor yang available di luar sana? lol

::al-fatihah::

masih aku ingat, ketika itu aku masih di zaman sekolah. seringkali pagi-pagi aku dirancakkan dengan lagu "mann" ataupun OST dari "kuch kuch hota he" kerana datuk udaku adalah penggemar lagu hindustan. dan aku membesar dengan lagu-lagu ini. koleksi lagu hindustan beliau mengalahkan kedai kaset top10 di tawau.

kalau penat memasang lagu hindustan, lagu "rhoma irama" pula di mainkan. tanpa jemu. aku juga membesar dengan lagu ini. aku suka lagu rhoma irama lebih dari lagu hindustan. mungkin kerana aku boleh memahami setiap seni katanya. mungkin.

masa di darjah 5, aku pernah meminjam baju datukku ini. entah mengapa, aku suka 3 jalur pada lengan baju ini. tergelak besar beliau melihat aku pada ketika itu kerana bajunya itu boleh memuatkan 2 saiz aku. sungguh. dia tegap orangnya. tinggi. wajah mirip rhoma irama. mungkin sebab itulah dia meminati penyanyi ulung indonesia itu.

aku sering mengusik beliau sebagai bujang terlajak. kerana di usia 40 tahun, beliau masih belum berkahwin. bukan tidak mahu, tapi hatinya patah. kerana seorang perempuan.

aku masih ingat, ketika beliau duduk bersila sambil menghisap dalam-dalam rokok surya maka berkepul-kepullah asap memenuhi serambi rumah. aku sering berseloroh, orang kuat merokok cepat mati. dia tergelak sambil memperlihatkan giginya yang sudahpun bercat tar. beliau pasti akan membidas kata-kataku dengan alasan yang sama. minum banyak air untuk mencairkan toksin. itu katanya.

namun, hari ini, aku terkesima dengan berita pemergian beliau.

sungguh. aku mahu bertemu dengan beliau lagi.

mengusik perut buncit beliau lagi.

menyindir tabiat perokok tegar beliau lagi.

aku mahu bersalaman dan mencium tangannya lagi.

kerana aku belum mintak ampun kali terakhir aku berjumpanya.

aku mahu dia memanggil aku 'dayang' lagi.

aku mahu memanggilnya 'awang' lagi.

aku mahu bercakap dalam slang orang KiKi dengan beliau lagi.

aku mahu dia memaafkan segala kekurang-ajaran aku dengan beliau selama ini.

*sayu*

*sebak*

moga roh beliau di cucuri rahmat. al-fatihah buat arwah datuk aku, yang telah kembali ke rahmatullah pada 08 disember 2009. moga roh beliau di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. ameen.

cucu yang tidak patut menjadi contoh,

jamieY

::hesitancy::

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!

-WH Murray