Showing posts with label Priceless Preciousness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Priceless Preciousness. Show all posts

Wednesday 9 December 2009

::al-fatihah::

masih aku ingat, ketika itu aku masih di zaman sekolah. seringkali pagi-pagi aku dirancakkan dengan lagu "mann" ataupun OST dari "kuch kuch hota he" kerana datuk udaku adalah penggemar lagu hindustan. dan aku membesar dengan lagu-lagu ini. koleksi lagu hindustan beliau mengalahkan kedai kaset top10 di tawau.

kalau penat memasang lagu hindustan, lagu "rhoma irama" pula di mainkan. tanpa jemu. aku juga membesar dengan lagu ini. aku suka lagu rhoma irama lebih dari lagu hindustan. mungkin kerana aku boleh memahami setiap seni katanya. mungkin.

masa di darjah 5, aku pernah meminjam baju datukku ini. entah mengapa, aku suka 3 jalur pada lengan baju ini. tergelak besar beliau melihat aku pada ketika itu kerana bajunya itu boleh memuatkan 2 saiz aku. sungguh. dia tegap orangnya. tinggi. wajah mirip rhoma irama. mungkin sebab itulah dia meminati penyanyi ulung indonesia itu.

aku sering mengusik beliau sebagai bujang terlajak. kerana di usia 40 tahun, beliau masih belum berkahwin. bukan tidak mahu, tapi hatinya patah. kerana seorang perempuan.

aku masih ingat, ketika beliau duduk bersila sambil menghisap dalam-dalam rokok surya maka berkepul-kepullah asap memenuhi serambi rumah. aku sering berseloroh, orang kuat merokok cepat mati. dia tergelak sambil memperlihatkan giginya yang sudahpun bercat tar. beliau pasti akan membidas kata-kataku dengan alasan yang sama. minum banyak air untuk mencairkan toksin. itu katanya.

namun, hari ini, aku terkesima dengan berita pemergian beliau.

sungguh. aku mahu bertemu dengan beliau lagi.

mengusik perut buncit beliau lagi.

menyindir tabiat perokok tegar beliau lagi.

aku mahu bersalaman dan mencium tangannya lagi.
kerana aku belum mintak ampun kali terakhir aku berjumpanya.

aku mahu dia memanggil aku 'dayang' lagi.

aku mahu memanggilnya 'awang' lagi.

aku mahu bercakap dalam slang orang KiKi dengan beliau lagi.

aku mahu dia memaafkan segala kekurang-ajaran aku dengan beliau selama ini.

*sayu*

*sebak*

moga roh beliau di cucuri rahmat. al-fatihah buat arwah datuk aku, yang telah kembali ke rahmatullah pada 08 disember 2009. moga roh beliau di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. ameen.


cucu yang tidak patut menjadi contoh,
jamieY


Wednesday 28 January 2009

::happy birthday narimah nahalan!::

okay i was 2 hours late, but it's the thought that matters aite? (so later, i don't have to post anything, just think of it, thats enough hihi)

for my gorgeous, superliciously sexy narimah nahalan, a true and my other half, wishing you:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

i don't know how you gained a special place in my heart, but one thing that i am sure of is, you were there whenever i need someone to talk to. you never fail to listen and comfort me. and ironically, you can make me smile and laugh out loud even i was at the lowest. your sense of humor is a medication that will heal every cut, even-though it has a potential to re-bleed in the future. but no worries, i can always consult you if the cut is bleeding again :p. (please God, don't give her the idea to charge me for the consultation since i don't have much money now)

N,
masihkah kau ingat ketika kita mula-mula bertemu? jelingan maut yang aku selalu berikan kau dulu sebagai tanda protes tatkala aku lalu di hadapan kelasmu? lalu kau akan menjerit dari kelasmu : "kau ingat kau bagus betul?" 

ketahuilah bahawa jelingan maut itu bukan sembarangan orang yang dapat.maka, kau sangat bertuah kerana telah mendapat jelingan maut itu beberapa kali. lagi menggembirakan, ianya percuma! ya percuma! (sila sujud syukur) 

N,
masihkah kau ingat bagaimana persahabatan kita terjalin? aku sendiri kurang pasti, namun yang aku tahu kisahnya bermula di dewan selera MRSM. menjelang SPM, kita akan meluangkan masa bersama di DS untuk mengulangkaji pelajaran(1%), bergosip(80%),tidur (19%). tuhan sayangkan kita kerana semua pun lulus dengan cemerlang dengan usaha yang sedikit itu. berkat kita mengumpat itulah, terjalin satu ikatan yang utuh barangkali?

N,
masihkah kau ingat ketika menjelang bulan ramadhan, kita paling semangat keluar ke pekan putatan. memborong semua makanan di gerai-gerai bazar ramadhan kerana kita punya nafsu makan seperti kuda. habis makanan di borong, bilik GF-i-dont-remember-the-number akan menjadi port kita berbuka puasa beramai-ramai. orang yang tidak puasa akan melantak mengalahkan orang yang berpuasa. usai sahaja melahap, masing-masing akan tersandar di dinding seperti ular sawa bunting 9 bulan. 

N,
masihkah kau ingat bagaimana kita menghabiskan bulan peperiksaan SPM itu bersama? di kala malam sudah larut, dan neuron-neuron enggan untuk bekerja, maka berkumpullah kita membentuk kumpulan usrah yang kecil, di ketuai oleh naqibah-naqibah dayang papar. maka bermulalah sesi usrah kita iaitu carta lelaki terkacak di MRSM, dan pasangan terhangat semasa. mungkin juga cerita hantu paling menyeramkan sehingga meremang bulu ketiak? sungguh manis kenangan itu.

masihkan kau ingat kenangan ayam madu golek MRSM? seperti pencuri, kita berjaya menyelinap masuk ke DS pada tengahari jumaat di bulan ramadhan, di kala kaum adam sibuk menuju ke masjid bagi menunaikan solat jumaat. misi 1: berjaya! misi seterusnya adalah untuk membawa ayam madu kegemaran semua yang sedap hingga mahu tambah 5 kali ke aspuri. kita sedar diri, walaupun tidak berpuasa harus hormat kepada mereka yang berpuasa. maka kita mengambil keputusan untuk menikmati ayam itu di bilik masing-masing.

sekali lagi, seperti penyamun, kita terjengket-jengket keluar dari dewan selera supaya tiada siapa pun sedar bahawa kita telah berjaya menyeludup makan tengahari! malang sekali, khairul hamzah ketua darjah 5 topaz lalu di jambatan dan ternampak akan kelibat kita. dengan suara yang kurang merdu itu dia menjerit: "oi! nda puasa!"

kekalutan itu menyaksikan bagaimana ayam yang ku pegang erat gugur ke bumi. gugur bersama nafsu makanku untuk menjamah ayam itu dengan nikmat sekali di dorm nanti. kecewa. kau tergelak besar, aku turut tergelak. lalu berlari ke aspuri kerana khuatir lebih ramai akan menyaksikan insiden ayam madu golek itu. malu. kecewa. hampa. kempunan.

N,
masihkan ku ingat bagaimana kita mula-mula mendapat nama timangan masing-masing? kau nyetnyet dan aku chimpchimp. malam itu, di KML, kau menunjukkan buku biology yang ibunda kau belikan. di belakang buku itu terpampang gambar dua ekor monyet yang sangat comel sedang menikmati alam. lalu kau berkata" eh famousnya kau jamiey, dalam buku ni pun ada muka kau!" 

pantang di kenakan lalu aku menjawab" ya bha pulak. eh ko nda ingat kita sama2 panjat ni pokok ka and bergambar?" lalu gelaran nyetnyet dianugerahkan tanpa segan silunya kepada dirimu lalu aku mendapat chimpchimp kerana pengalaman tidak berapa manis dengan felani stefanzi cho.

N,
masihkah kau ingat kenangan kita melarikan diri dari wales-london heathrow-london stansted-berlin-munich-frankfurt-dublin-belfast-dublin? aku yakin jika kita terus-terusan berlari seperti itu, lemak-lemak yang ada sekarang ini pasti malu-malu untuk terus melebarkan luas permukaan di bahagian-bahagian yang tidak di ingini. satu, sebab makan tidak terjaga. dua, sebab kita pasti tidak mampu untuk membeli makanan dengan duit 60 pound yang selamat di dermakan dan juga kad kredit yang punya batas 600euro. sungguh miskin kita pada masa itu. nasib baiklah diriku masih waras lalu tidak menjual dirimu dengan pak cik bermain alat muzik ganjil di hadapan patung molly malone. kerana jika aku tidak waras pada masa itu, mungkin kau telah selamat menjadi ms-pemain-alat-muzik-ganjil dan aku pula selamat memiliki kasut prada dengan hasil jualan itu.

N,
sungguh panjang lebar aku recall semula kenangan yang kita pahat bersama dan kemengantukan pastinya sangat cemburu dengan kita. maka dengan ini, aku mahu tidur agar aku boleh membesar menjadi bayi yang sihat dan gemuk dan yang paling penting, memiliki otak yang baik untuk terus mengarang sesuatu di hari jadimu tahun hadapan insya-Allah.

silalah sujud syukur dan kenduri 7 hari 7 malam kerana kamu memiliki kawan seperti aku. jangan lupa jemput ya? kerana aku ingin sekali makan percuma di kenduri mu itu :)

akhir kalam, sampaikan ucapan terima kasih aku kepada ibu bapa kamu kerana melahirkan kamu 23 tahun lepas ( bukan umur sebenar kerana khuatir saham akan jatuh) kerana, dengan kelahiran kamu, aku di kurniakan kenangan pahit manis yang pastinya menjadikan aku lebih dewasa setiap hari. terima kasih kerana masih berada di sini. terima kasih atas kenangan yang kita telah dan akan kongsi bersama. 

aku sayang kamu.

yang manis,
jamieY

Monday 26 January 2009

::happy birthday jiah::


so another friend of mine turned one year older today. to miss nazihah, wishing u a very

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!

best wishes for the upcoming years
may His bless stays with us, forever
be nice and gentle with life
may you stay sweet as what you are now

my life has been good shared with you. your laugh, your wit, your love are more precious than a gem any man could buy. but i got all them for free! (please don't send any invoice after reading this) and i considered myself to be blessed by having all that. so i shall thank you for that.

my dear,
we met 2.5 years ago, with lil input in our head about each other. but as we grow up together, far from our very loved ones, we began to know each other. inside and out. the only memory that i had with you in KMB was, you came to my room and me and indang were dancing for you and alisa. one year later, when you heard about me of being your future housemate, you mistakenly thought that i was indang. never mind, because i was mistakenly thought you were tengku aisyah. so fair and square.

as we met, we laughed at each other's "mistakenly thought". a good start with you and the rest of sweethallers has been a very strong base for the friendship that we genuinely take care of until today. we share laughter, we share tears, we share gossips, we share jokes. life would be very lonesome in this very foreign land if it was not because of you girls.

but in few days, i shall bid my farewell to you. but remember the farewell shall never be bid to our friendship :)

have a wonderful birthday dearie!

hugs and kisses,
jamieY





Wednesday 21 January 2009

::friendship tastes sweet::

i woke up in the afternoon (well, i only fell asleep at o645. my sleep cycle has been disrupted,thanks to exam) and as usual, the first thing that came into my mind was: my lappie! and i checked my emails, fs and fb. what a life i got here. heh. 

when i checked fs bulletin, this made me smile sampai telinga :). pengakuan berani mati miss narimah nahalan.

1.What's his/her name?
::puan seri jamilah jalil. ee jems. aku dabel N, kau dabel J :) (don't forget, dabel chin)
.

2. Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
::she has e most wonderful & gorgeous gf which is yours truly :P (haha boleh la...nnt merajuk)
.

3. Do you know a secret about him/her?
::of course. she'll tell u all when shes so kekenyangan.pandai high sma makanan bah ni ppuan :)) (tu la, pandai ko kan mau korek rahsia?)
.

4. Is this person older than you?
::yes. 10 tahun lagi tua dr saya hihi (heh? kecewa cikgu musri ajar ko math N, ni pon nda pndai kira? ish2 :p)
.

5. Has he/she ever cooked for you?
::yes. when i was in dublin, she cooked banyak gila makanan for me. and they were all yummylicious especially e laksa swak. dem eh. (apa lagi, sila la recommend kazen ko yg kacak ^^)
.

6. When was the last time you thought of him/her?
::im always thinking abt her and e things tht we gonna do when we see each other (plan melarikan diri dari rumah lagi hehe)
.
7. Do you have a nickname for each other?
:: yes. im Nyet (monyet) and shes chimp (chimpanzee).. besalah, anak buah Uncle Rajah la katakan :) ( nyet, this name gonna lekat till forever!)
.

8. How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
::everyday whenever we r online. kami kan in love :) (truly, madly, deeply! )
.
9. Why is this person your first featured?
::cos i love her with all my heart eventhough her mata juling n telinga bsar sblh :) (but she has the sexiest morning look kan? haha)
.

10. Have you seen this person cry?
::ya. wkt la senza abis sale and kami smpat beli bbrapa baju tdur shj :( (aku kecewa kecewa kecewa. but now everytime pegi, mesti grab something wpon nda sale :p )
.
11. How long have you known this person?
::since 2002. like omg kan jems. aww hihi. do u still remember when we first met? mcm mo baling each other sma tabung uji kan? hahaha. (ya! siap bg jelingan maut lg kan? haha)
.
12. Have you ever been to the mall with this person?
::kami lebih suka ke rumah ibadah mbaca quran n bqiamulail. err. gtu ka eja? (again, kecewa la ustaz nazri ni pon ko nda pandai eja!)
.

13. Have you ever watched movies at his/her place?
::yup. in her apartment. we watched wyg antu and the other boleyn girl :) (nice movie indeed!)
.
14. If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
::we r now far away from each other. im missing her badly and it hurts huwaa. but she'll be back in a few more days. super excited! :) (ya me too!9 days to go!)
.

15. Have you ever given this person something?
::my love, my loyalty & my frenship.. i will give my body to her next. u can do whateva u want jamiey :) ( really? nyamnyam. can i masak laksa swak then with ur lemaks? )
.
16. Have you ever done something really stupid with this person?
::hahahahahahahaha *golek2 lalu pitam* yes! and that only can make me smile today. - ni rahsia. nnti anak2 kita bc, drg pon jd rebel cam kita. (haha im so gonna tell this to ur child!)
.
17. what is it that you love doing with this person?
::EVERYTHING! i think i shud just marry her since she's as adventurous as me. (ya since lelaki eligible sudah pupus, lets marry each other haha)
.

18. what is the sweetest thing she has done to you?
::a lot! the sweetest is being there when i need someone to talk to and she will listen attentively. reassure me when i think everything's wrong and tell me im the most beautiful woman when i feel down :) - waaa.. cos tht's wht u did to me whenever i feel like a big fat ciken :( i love u jems. muah! *hugs* (big fat ciken? nyamnyam ni lagi best bikin laksa swak)
.
19. Do you know everything about this person?
::mstilah. dia ada tattoo barney d blkg. (don't forget teletabis tattoo on the ankle)
.

20. Do you know this person's shoe size?
::5. same like me. i told u shes my other half kan. (ya and bcoz we have the same size, she had to bear the pain wearing my heels.haha what a night. thanks N)
.

21. Have you ever worn this person's clothes?
::lol. ya. her green baju kurung. it was friday in dublin n we decided to wear bj kurung n mngorat llaki mlayu :)) (tapi llaki melayu yg sangkut abg asrih ja)
.

22. Have you ever heard this person sing?
::dia suka mdeklamasikan sajak ja. (haha i'll sing on ur wedding day. lagu 5 ribu )
.

23. Have you and this person ever had a fight that lasted more than 2 days?
::nope. never. kami lpas btumbuk terus ok. (plus main tarek rambut and baling heels)
.

24. Have you and this person went clubbing?
::clubbing d dlm kelab tennis smbil mngorat cikgu hassan. ( aku urat anak cikgu hassan ja )
.

25. Do you know how to make this person feel happy?
::bogel for her. ( hahaha yes if joni depp. kalau ko, aku nda tau aku happy ka trauma jadinya :p )
.
26. Do you and this person talk a lot?
::YES! hehe. ( ya both are talkative )
.

27. Have you kicked this person?
::gila kah mau tndang anak org. (dia syg aku bha)
.

28. Do you love this person?
::i love her more than ice cream. ( i love her more than my bantal )
.
29. Do you want to be with him/her forever?
::yes. til death do us part. (haruslah, dia mau suntikan botox free kan)
.
30. Why do you think she is special to you?
::sbb dia suka makan ayam n x suka makan kawan :) (sebab makan ayam lg best!)

yang disayangi narimah,
jamieY

Saturday 17 January 2009

::happy birthday ALISA!::


soul-good drawn from her genuine heart, lady-like persona that will make any man gets down on his knees begging for her attention, gently attending you whenever you need a free uplifting conversation and lastly, GAGO may perfectly described one of my beautiful friends: ALISA.


she is 23 on 17th January. ya 23! no kidding. she's old kan?hihi 

so i would like to wish her a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (tiru ktk :p)


the story of us dated back somewhere in 2004. we enrolled together in KML and i remember always bumped into her on the way back to the hostel. we just exchanged smiles and off we go to our very own destinations. no conversations. no shake hands. but a smile is always a really good starter.

God has decided that it will be good if these two people meet in KMB. so there the stories go. being MARA sponsored students, we were always called by the counsellor for what-so-ever reasons and we got the chance to personally greet and talk to each other. moreover, she was in the same block with me. block F. so the frequency of us being bumped into each other increase from 0.01 to 0.5 everyday. why? because our hostel is only equipped with one bathroom on each wing and one ironing area. ya i know, the prestige of the college doesn't suit the facilities. with that, i shall give a big applause to those survivors for being so steadfast in pursuing their dreams, even with the so minimal facilities (this entry is for alisa but now i talk crappy thingy about KMB?!)

and to cut it short, we finished our so called International Baccalaureate. we are IB survivors. and good work pays aite? so again, God destined us to strengthen the bond. both will be flying to Dublin. Will be studying in RCSI. and she offered me (or did i offer myself actually?) to be her hommie, together with other two girls.

40, swifthall apartment, dean street, dublin 8. that's where all the stories beautifully recorded in timeline of my life. and this gonna be elaborated more in another entry :)

so mademoiselle, may you enjoy all the surprises and and gifts! i am sorry we didn't throw a big grand and extravaganza one. you can sue RCSI for having the exam so close to your birthday. and for all the tricks that i played successfully, sorry! bohong sunat bha :)

being sweet herself, it's such a bless to have her in our life. so i shall THANK YOU for that.


love always,
jamieY

Sunday 4 January 2009

::this is what happens when you are away for too long::

me: helloo sayang. buat apa?

nain: main handphone. kak, jangan lupa belikan aku handphone colour biru. sama kereta control.(sayup-sayup, kedengaran seorang lagi dari belakang menjerit bagai mahu terkeluar anak tekak : "kak, aku mahu warna merah!")

me: handphone apa? mainan ka?

nain: yang betul la.nokia.

me: hahahaha. okay2. berapa biji? 5 cukup ka?

nain: satu cukup.

me: okay! nanti kita shopping sama-sama. rindu kakak tak?

nain: rinduuuu

me: ingat rupa kakak macam mana?

nain: lupa sudah. 

me: sampai hati! (kensel beli hadiah haha)

nain: mana tahu berubah-berubah sudah (i like this! auw how cute)

me: nda la. paling-paling pun makin cute. hahahaha

nain: iya la tu!

that was my conversation with my little brother on new year. he is 7 years old. he used to mushi-mushi with me when i am around, and now, he darely forget how do i look like? (pecah hatiku). it shows i have been away for such a long time till he can hardly remember how do i look like.after this, im goin to hang poster sized photos on every wall in the house so they won't forget me! haha

auw i miss everyone at home!


yang homesick,
jamieY

Saturday 25 October 2008

::king of my heart::

telah ku kenali lelaki ini sejak pertama ku bisa menuturkan kata. dia telah berada di sisiku sejak dari itu, dan tidak pernah kedengaran keluhan mahupun tanda-tanda mengalah dalam dirinya. ya aku mngakuinya, dialah lelaki pertama yang begitu sabar pada mataku.

pernah ku lihat kelelakiannya tercabar. namun dia cool saja. dengan tenang, dia akan menjawab, "selagi dia tidak pengapakan orang kesayanganku, selagi itulah aku akan bersabar". darah ini yang meluap mendengarkan apa yang telah di perlakukan kepadanya. mungkin kerana tindakanku banyak berlandaskan emosi dan tuhan menciptakan lelaki dengan nature sebaliknya...

pernah jugak suatu masa dahulu, dia menerima tekanan terhebat dalam hidupnya. namun, dia tidak pernah mengalah. malah, itulah yang menjadikan dirinya semakin tabah barangkali. cukuplah sekadar kembali ke teratak buruk, air kopi susu terhidang sedia bersama jemput2 barangkali? itu sudah cukup untuk membunuh rasa penat lelah dan kekusutan yang berpundak menggunung di dalam  dada.

seawal 6 pagi akan di galas beg menuju ke tempat kerja. menghempas tulang empat kerat. bermandikan keringat. menyalurkan setiap kilojoule tenaga yang terkandung demi orang tersayang. dia takut dia tidak memberi kami secukupnya. aku telah melihat bagaimana hebatnya semangat dalam dirinya yang pada anggapanku, jika berlandaskan tenaga fizikalnya sahaja belum tentu bisa melaksanakan pekerjaan itu sehari- hari. namun, apa yang memberi impak terhadap tugas sehariannya ialah kami, orang tersayang. pukul 5 barulah dia berkemas-kemas untuk pulang. 

namun, tugasnya tidak terhenti di situ sahaja. kembali ke rumah, hatinya pasti girang jika di sambut dengan suara-suara puteri dan putera kecilnya yang sekarang pasti sudah semakin galak membantah perintahnya. mungkin, sudah pernah melukai hatinya.

ku kenali dirinya. dia bukan seorang yang akan berperi terhadap kesakitan yang di tanggung. seboleh-bolehnya, dia mahu menguburkan terus rasa sakit itu agar tidak kelihatan oleh kami. namun, jauh di sudut hatinya, aku bisa mengerti. kerana itulah, diriku sayang sama kamu. kamulah inspirasi aku atas nama mengejar impian. jika kamu bisa berhempas pulas 10 jam sehari dan mungkin lebih, mengapa tidak aku? sedangkan tugas aku jauh lebih mudah dari kamu. 

dan kamu, wahai ayahku, akan sentiasa bertakhta di hatiku...








Saturday 23 August 2008

::title-less::

Ibu Ibu
engkaulah ratu hatiku
bila ku berduka
engkau hiburkan selalu

ibu ibu
engkaulah ratu hatiku

[ada urg homsik!]




Saturday 21 June 2008

::senyuman bidadari syurga::

Duhai Allah...
sungguh aku ingin sekali melihat Ibuku tersenyum dan tertawa bahagia,
kerana...

Saat dia telah mengandungku...dia menangis..

Saat dia kesakitan melahirkanku... dia menangis...

Saat dia lega aku lahir ke dunia... dia menangis...

Saat aku bisa bicara, berjalan, dan mulai nakal... dia menangis...

Saat aku mulai sekolah dan jatuh dari basikal... dia menangis...

Saat aku remaja dan mulai membantah perintahnya... dia menangis...

Saat aku kuliah ke luar kota ... dia menangis...

Saat aku nanti  bekerja... dia menangis...

Saat aku nanti menikah dan punya anak... dia menangis...

Jika Allah "menjemputku" terlebih dahulu.. dia menangis..

Saat apa pun dalam kehidupanku... Ibuku selalu menangis...

Duhai Ibu... 
dengan cara apa aku bisa mendapatkan senyumanmu yang
lebih indah dari senyum bidadari syurga?

[edited from a bulletin post]

Friday 16 May 2008

::cegu, selamat hari gUru!::

i texted few teachers of mine today to wish them happy teacher's day. it was good that some of them still remember me. well, i was a very low profile student back then and remembering me meaning u have a very good long term memory :p

i was smiling to myself reading the replies. o teachers, im wondering how are u right now...and what is it feels like being in ur classroom again. i bet the atmosphere would be totally different from what we had in our time...

one of the teachers that i got replies from was my counsellor back to primary school. he was my mentor in the program " anak angkat" that was held in my school back to 1998. that was the time that i sat for my UPSR~

the texts read like this:

"thank you very much.hampir setahun cikgu x dgr berita. hows studies?"

i replied:

"so far so good.performed well last sem.been busy with clinical teaching in hospitals.will sit for xm next monday hehe"

and i got snap when i read his reply:

"congratulations!tau la busy. tapi hantar la berita at least sekali sebulan untuk motivasi ank murid cikgu"

so sorry teacher.i was really busy and that is not the main reason actually. i lost ur emel address and i din even have it stucked in my head. and i was so lazy to text and say hello to u huhu~ 

i was just being ignorant.
selfish.

the guilt was so great till i had to apologize...

"im so sorry teacher. will try to update u owez. btw, send my wishes to all teachers there :) "

tanpa dirimu yg bgelar guru, siapa lah aku.
tetapi aku slalu alpa tentang hakikat itu~

to mr saparudin lakanda, who showed me there's opportunity in every problem, who motivated me to take this path, who lend me hands when im in greatest need, who trusted me (rm 1 million u know?)i thank you!

or all teachers in the world, a very Happy teachers Day! 


Monday 12 May 2008

::when he walks away::

i look at him again...this time i take longer to really understand the meaning of his gaze...

i look at him from up then slowly down to his feet. he is standing quitely.

still.

how do i make u understand that i love u honey? i have done all the things that i could to make u see that i love u with all my heart.

to make u realize i could stay with u till death come to us.

to make u believe that no one else but u to be my partner in this journey of life.

to make u see my dreams as urs and urs as mine~

no one else but u!

u smile at me. no last words. u just simply walk away tru that door.



and that smile...i miss that smile badly. it was last year when i got the chance to see the smile. o god thanks i have got the chance to see it again.

ur smile is so beautiful till it can vanish all the sorrow in my heart. it is so sweet till it can shooh away my burden. it is so sincere. it is day-brightening.

one in a million smile :)

looking u walking away makes my my heart says "stop him!" but i just cant. i am still standing there, stoning...

ur shade fades away in the gloomy night...

"good bye my dear. u know u'll always be my love till the end of time" i whisper... 

few days later

i collapse the moment i heard the breaking news.

"omg. y u shud punish me this way? u shud have taken me instead of him!"

i whine. 
i cry. 
i regret. 

i blame myself for the unexpressed love. i blame myself for the wasted moments that i shud have been spending with him. i blame myself for everything. now i couldnt even turn back time...

god, if u can give him back to me,even my life as a return, i would give my all...

i will.




i cry. over and over again. 

the tears are so warm till i can feel 'em on my cheek. i wipe 'em slowly and try to regain my consciousness. 

purple duvet is still covering me. i am still sleeping on the purple covered pillow. froggie and chimpy are sitting at the edge of the bed looking at me. as usual, with that empty look. well, what do u expect from soft toys? hugging u when u have nightmares? nay!

gosh i was dreaming! but so weird, i had this dream before. and this was the second time when i wake up on bed with tears. 

the saddest thing in that dream is that when u dont have the chance to love the person that u love with all ur heart~ 

although it was just a dream, it hurts deeply...

[the story above is purposely written in present tense hehe]


Saturday 10 May 2008

::keraNa diA iBuKu::

ke hadapan ibu yg tsayang,

apa khabar maa? kakak doakan maa sihat2 saja...sibuk eh? dgr2 byk tempahan jahitan sejak kebelakangan ini? mungkin sbb x lama lagi hari guru maka smua pelanggan maa yg rata2nya cikgu sibuk menempah baju baru...mungkin untuk d gayakan semasa sambutan hari guru nanti :)

mungkin maa lupa ( ataupun senna suda bagi hint?) hari ni mrupakan hari ibu...SELAMAT HARI IBU maa!!! hari ni hari special tok maa...

maa,
kakak rindu pada maa...

rindu pada suara lunak mak yg mnurut moyang, kita punya suara yg sama...kakak bangga kerana ada juga trait maa yg trn pada kakak...i wish i have ur beauty maa :p

rindu pada masakan mak...wpun pada urg lain lauk itu biasa saja, namun kakak boleh tambah 3 kali...sbb tu kakak akan bertambah gemuk bila duduk rumah :))

rindu pada leteran maa di kala mngejutkan kakak d pagi hari. mungkin maa tahu itu cuma taktik saja nak bagi maa mbebel pagi2 supaya i din miss that moment every time i am home hehe

rindu pada senda gurau maa yg suka mnyakat bapak..mnyakat kami adek beradek...i guess i have this trait too maa :p

rindu pada ciuman maa...pada pelukan maa

this song is 4 u maa...

thank you for loving me unconditionally!